First thing I'm having to decide is, college. Which brings on a plethora of questions, such as: Where do I want to go? How the heck am I going to afford it? Do I want to go to a community college first THEN transfer to a university? Or do I want to just go straight into the big "U"? Will they accept me despite not having two years of a language course? What do I want to major in? How long do I want to go for? Do I want to consider going to a school out of state? Can I handle it? AHHHHSDFSLJ
Now, in a perfect world where I could just do what I want most, I'd go straight to University of Oregon (affectionately called UFO) on a grant and/or scholarship. I'd major in either sociology, philosophy, or psychology. Minor in either literature or linguistics. Possibly switch the minor and major around. This is what I would really like to do. However the sucky part is that pretty much NONE of the things I want to major or minor in open up very many job opportunities, and the one's there are are difficult to get. I've always been the type to say "screw having a plan B and just go full force for what you want". But the problem there is that I'm most likely going to leave school in huge debt due to student loans, so if I don't start making pretty good money and making it fast then I'll quickly find myself in a mess. This raises the question of whether or not I should sell my soul for an almost guarantee of a job. If I do this, I will likely major in journalism. I like journalism and think a job in it would be fun, IF I got to write about something I actually care about. Journalism is something I've had very minor experience in but I've enjoyed it while I've done it. Problem is, it's not my first choice. As I said, I want to major in philosophy, psychology, or sociology, and get a job reflecting that. I'm sure I'd enjoy it more than anything else, especially while going to school. Journalism would probably entail very boring classes that I'll have no motivation to show up to. This could be a problem to the point of my dropping out, because I'm the type that has a problem finding the will and the motivation to finish something that I don't enjoy in the least (one of the many reasons I dropped out of high school). So, I'm scared to take journalism. I'm scared of taking two years of basics at a community college first for these same reasons.
I'm not sure why I decided to write about this. I suppose to get it out to someone that isn't an elder in my family because I don't want to hear about how I need to go to school to be a doctor so I can make a lot of money. First of all because being a doctor is about as appealing to me as jabbing forks into my eyes on a daily basis. Second being because I don't care about being wealthy, I care about paying off loans and then doing well enough to get by. Don't get me wrong, advice is nice, but lately it seems to make me more and more pessimistic about my chances to just do what I want to do and be happy doing it. I mean, every human has the right to pursuit of happiness.... right?
Well, I hope yet am sure you didn't enjoy my slight stress relieving all over your face. But it needed to be done. Now I'm off to pull my hair out. Have a great day~
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